Why the antipathy toward pink? Pink means girls and to be a girl means to not be a boy, and that’s bad because girls are bad / defective / weak / diminished / afterthoughts / marginalized / oppressed, and if you don’t want to be those things, you have to avoid being a girl. You better REALLY try to not be a girl, because vulnerability is how that oppression happens and whenever you feel vulnerable it’s a warning sign that you’re at risk of turning into a girl. Of course, men don’t get hurt / used / exploited / enslaved / objectified / terrorized / owned / diminished / degraded / hurt because men’s manhood and masculinity are the opposite of being vulnerable, the antithesis of vulnerability. You must prove your manhood, your masculinity, and by doing so you demonstrate how much of a girl you’re not.

And that’s how the fear of being girl-ified becomes hatred of girls for existing and bringing with their existence the dire threat of girl-ification, so hate girls, and pink is girls, so hate pink. And that’s how pants become the tool of sexist oppression: because girls wear pants or skirts but men wear only pants. So wear pants. Your manhood depends on it.

“Once upon a time, white men wore the pants, and wore them well. Black men rarely had to worry about measuring up and little old black men were happy on the plantation. White men took charge because that’s what they did. But somewhere along the way, the world decided it no longer needed white men. Urban by urban, wigger by silly pride-free wigger, white men were stripped of their khakis and left stranded on the road between boyhood and racial equality. But today, there are questions our race-free society has no answers for. The world sits idly by as cities crumble, children misbehave and those little old black men are left longing for the plantation. For the first time since bad guys, we need heroes. We need grown-ups. We need white men to pull up their pants, turn off the rap and hip-hop, and untie the world from the tracks of complacency. It’s time to get your hands dirty. It’s time to answer the call of white male supremacy. It’s time to wear the pants.”