Photo from Domain Barnyard's Flickr photostream
by Gracie Remington
Contributing to continued confusion surrounding the abstinence/celibacy divide, Lady Gaga argued in support of celibacy in a sit down with the UK periodical The Star.
“I, for myself, make the choice to be single at this point in my life because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody. And you know what? It’s okay. Even Lady Gaga can be celibate. If you can’t get to know somebody, you shouldn’t be having sex with them. It’s okay at this point, in this day and age, we have grown up and we now know that we can’t be that free with our love. You have to be safe, so get checked. You are not invincible.”
While I applaud the general sentiment in Gaga’s interview, I think it’s important to note that in this case she is advocating abstinence, not celibacy. Celibacy is a state of life wherein a person refrains from sex and marriage, usually for religious reasons. Abstinence, on the other hand, indicates refraining from sexual activity for a certain period of time, be it until marriage, until a committed relationship, until a certain time, etc. As an ambassador for an organization that is helping to fight HIV/AIDS, it’s important for Gaga to note the distinction between the two, and choose her words accordingly.
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Well if you look up celibacy in the dictionary (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/celibacy) you would find it to be defined as:
1 : the state of not being married
2 a : abstention from sexual intercourse b : abstention by vow from marriage
Thus, your argument would be false on numerous levels. To my knowledge Lady Gaga is not married = celibate under (1). She seems to be abstaining from sexual intercourse, as you pointed out = celibate under (2a). Furthermore, she seems to have vowed (albeit to herself and, I suppose, the press) to abstain from sex/marriage = celibate under (2b).
Looks to me like she’s three times a (celibate) Lady.
Based on this distinction (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy#Abstinence_and_celibacy) between abstinence and celibacy, I think we can pretty safely say that Lady Gaga would better described herself as “abstinent.” The words may have similar dictionary definitions, but they have very different religious and cultural connotations.
Thanks for commenting!
Who gives a crap? Her definition is the only one that matters. No one has a trademark on the word celibate.
sure, you’re right in that people don’t /own/ words. but part of living in a society is using them responsibly, and as ameliatd wrote above, the words have different connotations in different contexts. i don’t know if you’re a princeton student or not, but these are words that have come up a lot this year with the “debate” over the chastity center and numerous columns in the prince dealing with the topic. it’s important to keep our terms straight so we know what everyone else is talking about.
I am not a Princeton student, and neither is that singer. Her body, her words. And no, no one ever got raped because some guy someplace mistakenly used a word wrong. They get raped because men rape them. Put the blame where it belongs: in the mind of the perpetrator and not in the dictionary.
The very basic definition in a dictionary is:
1: the state of not being married
2 a : abstention from sexual intercourse
b : abstention by vow from marriage
So – actually – anyone who’s not married could, justifiably, say that they are celibate! You’re right – she is abstaining, but therefore, is also celibate. I don’t think people should bring religion into a choice to abstain (remain celibate) nor should we criticize her for her wording choice. It’s an amazing message that I think more people should listen to – especially young women in America in our society who believe that the disposable sexual lifestyle that has become so popular is a sign of feminism and independence!
that’s all.